Stephen Hawking, 1942 - 2018

Celebrity physicist and inveterate cameo-apperarer Stephen Hawking passed away today.

Stephen Hawking, best known for his best-selling science books A Brief History of Time, and The Selfish Gene, was born in 1942 in Oxford, meaning he both went to, and came from Oxford, which suggests that he didn't really go anywhere.

As a child, the Hawking family moved to St Albans, where eight-year-old Stephen attended St Albans High School for Girls, which must have been a bit confusing.

He also later attended Radlett School, where he learned to scrape hot cheese into a delicious sandwich.

Although known at school as "Einstein", Hawking was not initially successful academically. But then again, neither was Einstein, so perhaps it was a clever nickname after all.

Things really began to kick off when Hawking began his university education studying mathematics and the use of redundant words at University College, Oxford University, Oxford. Although initially he was bored and lonely – finding the work "ridiculously easy", the poor petal, in his second and third year he developed into a popular college member, interested in classical music and science fiction, the daft nerd.

Hawking's attempts to shatter the nerd stereotype were not as successful as hoped

Hawking received a first-class degree in natural science and toddled off to Cambridge to study Cosmology and other well-known women's magazines.

It was around this time that Hawking was diagnosed, shortly after his 21st birthday as suffering from motor neurone disease, which might have discouraged a lesser soul.

Not Hawking though, who went on to complete his thesis on the topic of The Entire Universe.

Stephen Hawking as Newt Scamander in the film Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

From 1973, Hawking moved into the study of quantum gravity and quantum mechanics, which are like regular gravity and mechanics, except they don't make any sense. And it was around this time he took part in The Black Hole War, a conflict featuring substantially fewer lasers and more academic bickering than you might hope.

This was all part of Hawking's move into the even-bigger question of 'what's it all about eh?' as famously also posed by Alfie.

Hawking was keen to discover a grand unified theory of the universe, declaring, "If we discover a complete theory, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason – for then we should know the mind of God." This, of course, included the risk the we came to know the mind of God and it was thinking "I wonder if I left the oven on."  But Hakwing was a risk-taker.

Part of this quest included his writings that brought the clever stuff of physics within touching distance of the average human understanding. His book A Brief History of Time was a tome everyone bought, some of them read, and a handful understood even through the last chapters where it all gets a bit difficult. It sold an estimated 9 million copies. Wow.

This brought Hawking fame as a scientist, leading him to become the voice of science, which was ironic as by this point his disease had progresses such that he required an electronic speech synthesiser, about as apt a 'voice of science' as you could imagine.

Hawking began to appear in a wide variety of pop culture outlets, including a cameo role on The Simpsons, which is how you really know you've made it.

He wasn't always right, though. He had a long standing bet with Peter Higgs over the existence of the Higgs Boson (which, unsurprisingly, Higgs was a big fan of). The two would debate the existence of this particle vigorously, right up until the moment someone build a Large Hadron Collider, mashed a few molecules together and went 'Look, there's one over there'.

To his credit, Hawking immediately paid up.

Hawking is also one of the few people in history to hold a party at which nobody turns up, and he's glad.

As a test of his thinking that time travel is impossible, Hawking held a party open to all in 2009. He had food and champagne laid on for all comers. But he publicised the party only after it was over so that only time-travellers would know to attend.

Nobody came, as he expected, and he was delighted.

Of course, it's possible time travellers have better things to do than attend celebrity parties, but it was all good PR and anything that continues to keep people interested in science has to be a good thing.

Where you're going, you don't need wheels

Hawking died in his home in Cambridge, England at the age of 76, which is pretty good going for someone given only a few years to live at the age of 21.

Good on you Stephen, you sure showed 'em.

Lovebug Starski 1960 - 2018

Musician and DJ Lovebug Starski, has died.

Lovebug Starski was born Kevin Smith in the Bronx on May 16, 1960.

As a youth he was a member of the notorious Black Spades gang, who managed to avoid people asking if perhaps their name was a bit racist mostly because “Everyone used to carry machetes,” as he told one reporter.

Beyond this, though, Lovebug Starski was a mainstay of the emerging rap scene in the 1970s. He started out carrying records and equipment for the disco D.J. Pete “DJ” Jones, during which he was known as Kevin “Carries the Kit” Smith.

Cleverly changing his name to Lovebug Starski, in 1978 he became was the house D.J. at the crucial South Bronx club ‘Disco Fever’, sister club to Harlem’s ‘Rockin’ Pneumonia’, and New Jersey’s ‘Funk Rickets’.

But things really took off after The Sugarhill Gang released Rapper’s Delight. This was a dessert similar to Angel Delight but with more diamonds and cocaine, and which prompted a huge increase in interest in rapping.

This was good news for Starski, who had been supplementing his DJ work by investigating crime with his friend and partner Hutch, but who now started releasing his own singles as an MC.

At the start of his career, an impoverished Starski had to make his jumpers out of coloured bin liners

His first album was House Rocker in 1986. This featured his most successful chart single, Amityville (The House on the Hill), which made it to number 12 on the UK singles chart. #

To celebrate, Starski did lots and lots of cocaine. Very shortly afterwards, he was arrested twice for burglary and once for petty larceny, and was incarcerated until 1991. Because cocaine.

After his release he returned to DJ-ing and producing. In the 1990s he was the D.J. at Kimora Lee’s wedding to exercise guru Richard Simmons, and at various events Phat Farm, a spa and retreat for overweight dyslexics.

In recent years he moved to Las Vegas and took up a weekly residency at the rooftop lounge of Indian restaurant Turmeric and made various other appearances.

But sadly Starski experienced a fatal heart attack on February 8th, suffered whilst moving speakers, in a tragic callback to his start in the industry. Goodbye Lovebug Starski. Hip hop hard in heaven.

Mark E Smith 1957 - 2018

Mark E Smith, singer and front man of post-punk band The Fall has died.

Smith was raised in Prestwich, Greater Manchester, a town famed for its flattened sandwiches, and attended Stand Grammar School for Boys, an educational establishment that managed to balance its budget by simply selling all the chairs.

Before finding success with music, Smith’s first job was in a meat factory, where he assembled cows on the production line. After this, he became a shipping clerk in Salford. Or at least that was his excuse for going down to the docks every day.

Although not initially all that interested in music, Smith formed The Fall after seeing the Sex Pistols’ famous Lesser Free Trade Hall gig in June 1976. This became dubbed “the gig that changed the world”, because, as well as Smith, it was witnessed by future members of Joy Division, the Smiths and Buzzcocks, who all left with a sudden realisation that to form a band, being interested in music was really just a nice-to-have.

"Where do you get your ideas from, Mark?"

Named after Smith’s favourite season, The Fall’s original line-up soon fell victim to what would prove to be Smith’s signature lyric – “hey band member, you’re sacked!”. In fact, Smith was the only constant member in The Fall, which over the years managed to boast a total of 66 members.

Throughout the changing lineups, The Fall produced songs showcasing Smith’s biting and caustic wit delivered with a tuneless, declamatory style. Which apparently people liked. Over the years, The Fall succeeded in producing 31 studio albums and 32 live albums, not including the output of his other band Mark E Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Smith wasn’t just a musician though. In 1986, he wrote the play Hey, Luciani based around the short reign of Pope John Paul I because, why not? Smith also made an appearance in the BBC Three sitcom Ideal in May 2007, playing a foulmouthed, chain-smoking Jesus because, why not?

"You're fired!" Bandmember's-eye view

Originally a Labour supporter, Smith later joined the Socialist Workers Party. That said, when asked what policies he would adopt if he became Prime Minister, he said "I'd half the price of cigarettes, double the tax on health food, then I'd declare war on France,” which sounds like classic UKIP.

As suggested by his inability to hang on to band members, Smith was not an easy character to get on with. A drinker with a dark side, he was described by his first wife Brix (who Smith finally wed after aborted dalliances with Straw and Stix respectively) as a man who "had a chip on both shoulders” and, apparently no ketchup, which may explain the grumpiness.

Eventually, the booze and the fags took their toll on Smith’s health, leading him to play some of his later gigs from a wheelchair, leaving fans wondering if it was some artistic statement or if he just couldn’t stand up. It was the latter. Smith’s health worsened and finally, he passed away.

If there’s a music heaven, Smith is probably up there now, trying to sack the angels. 

Bella Emberg 1937 - 2018

Bella Emberg, actress, comedy talent, Blunderwoman, has passed away.

She was born in Brighton to actors Bela Lugosi and Anita Emberg. A natural performer, she made her entertainment debut in Ryde, Isle of Wight in 1962. Whilst there, the poor reception she initially experienced led the Beatles to write a song about her experience, featuring the famous lyric "She got a ticket to Ryde and they don't care."

Undeterred, she went on to appear in British classic TV shows including a role on Grange Hill as a cleaner, an appearance on The Benny Hill show as the sexy lady least likely to actually catch Benny, and a small appearance in the show consisting entirely of footage of traffic policement sleeping on the job, Z Cars.

True fame came to Bella, though in her performances alongside comedian Russ Kane, who was at that time the head of a monastery, in The Russ Abbott Show which ran from 1980 to 1996. Emberg most memorably played Blunderwoman alongside Russ as Cooperman, a hilarious re-imagining of Superman as a traditional barrel-maker.

Be careful when she spins round to transform, or she'll have yer eye out

Emberg could raise a laugh just walking on screen in that costume, about which she recalled, "The first time I put it on, I span around and my boobs fell out!", leading her to keep them safely in a locked drawer for subsequent performances.

Ironically iconic, Emberg became so known for that one role that it created problems in her later career. "I went for jobs, "she recalled, "and they'd say: 'We'd love to hire you but you're too well known with Russ. But once every few weeks, I go and look at that Blunder Woman costume, still hanging up at home, and feel nothing but gratitude." Despite it being dry-clean only.

Emberg supplemented her income in later years by hiring herself out as a Christmas ornament

Emberg continued to work, though, and she had recently finished filming her part on the new Sky One comedy In The Long Run, which has been created by Idris Elbow and is due to premiere later this year. So watch out for that.

Rest in peace Bella, you made us laugh, thank you.